After a week

Remember when I said I was going to try and keep this blog updated every Sunday? Good times. I wanted to sit down and write a recap, no matter how brief, on how things have been since coming back to streaming. I think I was getting paralyzed by not knowing what to write every time I sat down but I'm going to approach it from the perspective of what I'd like to reread at the end of the year. Journaling 101 I suppose. 

Take it from me, if you're ever going to take an extended amount of time away from streaming then there's no better way to come back to it than with a Multi-Monday with Careless Rex. The time away was nice but there was a creeping dread the closer I got to the end of the week that I was going to 'forget' how to do everything. If you're ever at the start of the stream I'll sometimes joke with the early lurkers that, "I quit. I forgot how to stream. Bye." Truth in jest, ya know? Fortunately for me, I had Rex to lean on as I eased back into the swing of things. We always hop into a discord call an hour before we go live and from the moment we connected we were picking back up right where we left off. Shook off the nerves and jumped right into the game and I knew that I was going to be okay. I think this is a perfect example on why networking's magic lies more in the art of making friends than with the 'what can you do for me,' mentality. Having someone (Rex) who understands not only the space (streaming) but what it's like to take an extended amount of time off was an invaluable resource and I can't thank him enough. (Thank you if you're reading Rex. If not, this friendship is over. Kidding or am I? Who knows, you're not reading.)  
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I've been playing through a lot of Monster Hunter World lately and I'm glad the game is finally starting to click for me. Prior to the week hiatus, I was highly considering moving on from the game due to the fact that I felt so overwhelmed with everything the game had to offer. Fortunately, Aero_Ken and Godrekfalcer took me under their wing and taught me all they know. The difference between being comfortable with a game and not makes a world of difference on stream so the amount of thanks that these two are owed is immense. There's still a lot more to learn but I've got a firm enough grasp on the game to balance my focus evenly between game and chat. The gameplay loop of finding new monsters, armor, and weapons has me securely in its grasp and I'm looking forward to playing it tomorrow with Rex. Insect Glaive user for life by the way. My ambitious toothpick will fell any monster, I guarantee it. Just don't ask me how long it'll take because I've learned that killing monsters is more of a marathon and less a race. 

The other game I've been playing a lot lately is an indie game known as Celeste! If you haven't seen it yet I highly recommend you look it up because I guarantee that you're going to see this game pop up on 'Best Of' lists a lot by the end of the year. It's a beautiful 2D platformer that finds itself in the realm of Super Meat Boy difficulty. It balances the line between satisfying and difficult so that you're constantly caught in that tried and true trap of a carrot on a stick called you can do this. Maybe that's just me, but being bad at games is kinda my specialty. That being said though, it's worth your time, even if you aren't a fan of difficult games. I personally haven't used it yet (even though maybe I should), but there is an assist mode that helps you bridge some of the more difficult parts of the game. There's a backdrop of anxiety and insecurities with the game's narrative (What great timing by the way) and even though I'm only about halfway through, I think it's building towards a really nice story. Plus the humor is cute and the characters are, well, they're entertaining (Theo). It's not often that I split time during the stream schedule to service two games but I'm going to be juggling my time between Monster Hunter World and Celeste for sure. Also mainly because I need a reprieve from my strawberry obsession. ​

Friday I also got the chance to play with a couple of new filming toys. Chris, the Internet Wizard behind this entire website, bought a drone and we took it out and flew it for a bit. It was dark though so we didn't film as much as we wanted to but seeing it in action was worth it. I'm so happy that he got a drone and I can't wait to see all the videos that he's going to make with it. (I'm going to embed a video on the left that he made with a friend of his named Ryan. Ryan is incredibly talented too.) In addition to his drone, I got the DJI Osmo Mobile 2 stabilizer for my phone so I'm in the process of learning how to use that as well. We want to take a trip somewhere and make a really cool video and that has me excited too. I'm tiptoeing in the realm of making vlogs which is something that I've always wanted to do. In fact, I took a stab at it years ago but I quickly learned that I'm not quite living a life worth vlogging (Life Worth Vlogging is my favorite Coldplay album by the way). So it's a bit of self-fulfilling prophecy that if I'm going to do this, then I'm also going to need to do more film worthy things. It'll be a nice goal to have and I want to meet it. I'm tiptoeing into the tiptoeing by utilizing Instagram stories a lot more. It was weird at first but I'm addicted. Shameless plug by the way, here's my Instagram. 

​Another big highlight for the week was starting the Marvel Cinematic Universe Marathon that we've got going on in the discord. We're not that far away from Avengers: Infinity War and I'm going to do my best to marathon every movie with the community. The MCU is incredible, and I've had an obsession with it for the longest time. Being able to vicariously live through others who haven't seen it yet is one hell of an experience. I got a taste of what sharing something like this could be like during my hiatus. The Saturday before I returned I started an impromptu rabb.it room and we watched 5 episodes of my other obsession Community. Showing people that show for the first time is what lead me to want to do the same with the MCU. We watched Iron Man and we'll be doing The Incredible Hulk soon. I gotta find a time for that like before the end of the day. Oops. (Shout out to Nick Sandy for the posters by the way!)

Remember when I said this was going to be brief? I guess I got carried away. It's easy to be paralyzed by doubt, as evident by the duration between these posts, but sometimes just sitting down and slowly chipping at it will make great headway. Doubt was the biggest culprit in me needing to take some time away and I keep hammering this point home because I'm hoping people can use this as an example whenever they're feeling down. Self-deprecation is the armor that I use from my own thoughts because my own thoughts used to hold too much power over me. By getting the, "I'm bad at this," out in the open I can hear how silly it sounds and then it becomes a joke. However, when that fails I hadn't taught myself how to handle it, and I started to believe what I was saying. Our doubt, fears, and insecurities, will always scream louder than reason, but they're hardly ever true. If you can find a way to silence them whether by speaking with friends or taking time to yourself you can silence them. You are more than your doubt. 

Trey